


All The Words I Never Got To Say

by manwithaminivan



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Death, F/F, I like all the Kara death theories so here this is, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love, Wrote this after two nights of no sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 10:02:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manwithaminivan/pseuds/manwithaminivan
Summary: Supergirl died 3 years ago, and with her so did a piece of Lena.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	All The Words I Never Got To Say

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this instead of the two essays I need to finish, it's not great but hey. I myself have hallucinated while sleep-deprived, it's not a fun experience. Sadly, for Lena, hers is probably more upsetting than me seeing a random man standing in the kitchen. Anyway, enjoy.

Supergirl died 3 years ago.

3 years ago the hero that National City had come to depend on, the one that everyone loved and needed… died. No one even understands how it happened. Supergirl wasn’t supposed to be able to die. But some group attacked, and it’s assumed Kryptonite was used. All the people really know was that Supergirl was in the building when it blew up, and she never came out.

Some black vans appeared, and they dug through the rubble. There were a few bodies placed on stretchers, but no one knew if she was on any of them. People murmured around the vans, watching carefully. A couple of black-clad agents pushed people back, telling them what was happening was classified and that it would all be fine.

That was a lie.

Supergirl never reappeared. 

There was a statement made by the President that Supergirl died that day. She said that they’d have to move on, that National City was more than the hero they once had. That somehow, someway, they would be okay. 

A funeral was held, but there was no body. People gathered in the cemetery as an empty casket was lowered into the ground. It was an open ceremony, but not that many people came. People were still in shock, of course. They had just lost the one person they knew could protect them. But they pushed on.

For a while, nothing really happened. It was as if criminals were mourning as well. There were no robberies, no hit and runs, no nothing. Then of course it returned after a couple of months. The police handled most things and for some bigger alien attacks, some secret service no one knew the name of would appear.

Then the first anniversary came up, and a statue was erected in the late hero's honor. It was tall, bronze and a small plaque was on it that read: ‘hope, help, and compassion for all.’ People passed it every day, smiling up at the statue. It was a reassurance, that someone was watching… even if it was inanimate.

Two years went by, and people started to move on. They didn’t need a hero, they had each other. It was a large city, yeah, but something about that kind of event bonds a group. The statue still stood strong, albeit a bit rusty. People stopped cleaning it. There were petitions, people saying they needed to preserve her memory, but most were ignored.

And now it’s the 3 year anniversary. Newspapers printed small pieces on it, stores gave discounts. But for most it was an average day… most being the keyword.

It was late, around 11 pm. The sun had long set in the sky and now Lena Luthor stood in the park, staring up at the statue that was barely visible in the dark. She sighed, shoving her hands in her jacket’s pockets. 

The city lost a hero, but Lena lost a friend and the worst part was she couldn’t even tell anyone.

Kara Danvers was her best friend. They spent time together every day. Whether that be quick lunches or coffee, or spending nights at each other’s house cuddled up on the couch. A few months into their friendship, Kara admitted one of her deepest secrets. That she was the hero National City loved. And Lena embraced it. She helped her on missions sometimes, made her more advanced suits… They were a dynamic duo.

Officially, Kara had moved to Smallville, living with some extended family. But in reality, her body was probably decomposed underneath the ground. They had cleaned up the debris and covered up the holes in the ground where the building collapsed It was now just an empty space with a large fence around it. 

“So…” She started, knowing no one was around to hear her. “How’s Smallville?”

“It’s small.”

Her heart drops. She wasn’t expecting an answer. She looks around to see where the voice came from. She spots a figure a few feet away, standing in the darkness. “Who’s there?”

Slowly the person steps from the darkness and into the light. And Lena nearly pukes. Standing there in one piece is Kara. But that’s not possible. She looks her up and down. She looks exactly the same. She wears her hair down, glasses gone, dressed in a blue hoodie and jeans. Her mouth opens and closes as she looks for something to say.

“Miss me?”

“You’re not real…”

Kara looks down at herself, holding her arms out and flipping them around. “I feel pretty real.”

Lena steps closer, footsteps echoing in the silence around them. She goes to reach for Kara, but the woman pulls away. She furrows her brows and Kara sighs, shrugging absently. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Kara begins to walk from here and Lena stands there a moment, watching as she begins to disappear. Lena begins to walk, picking up her pace to catch up. They turn onto the street where there’s more light, streetlights illuminating their way.

“So, how are things?”

Lena scoffs, “No… you don’t get to do this.”

Kara smiles, looking at her, “Do what?”

“Act like everythings fine… Act like you didn’t die three years ago.”

The blonde hums, looking back in front of the two of them, “Maybe you should’ve checked the building more thoroughly.”

“Oh. Oh! So you’re saying you survived then just dipped for three years? That’s objectively worse, Kara!” 

“I understand if you’re angry with me.”

Lena stops in her tracks, Kara does as well, turning to face her head-on. Lena glares at her, “You left me, Kara. You left _us_. Alex, Nia, Brainy, J’onn…! You decided to go into that stupid building and get yourself blown up!”

“I see what this is.”

She crosses her arms, “What is this then?”

“You’re upset because you didn’t do enough to stop me.”

The statement hits Lena a bit too hard. She opens her mouth to speak, willing a comeback to come out of her mouth but she can’t form the right words. Kara’s looking at her with such sympathy, such sadness for her that Lena can’t help but tear up. She quickly wipes them from her eyes before they can even try to fall. 

This doesn’t feel right to her. Because why did Kara come to a park before going to her apartment, or the DEO or something. Why did it take her three years? It’s not adding up. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m Kara.”

“But you’re not.”

She shrugs, “Well, that’s up for debate.”

“How are you here? Am I dreaming… is this some weird alien drug?”

Kara laughs loudly, throwing her head back and Lena’s heart aches at the sound. It’s so familiar, and Lena wants everything for it to be real. But she fears that it’s not.

“No, no, none of those.”

“Alternate reality?”

Kara smiles softly, “Nope… Are you going to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what you want to tell me?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m here for a reason, Lena.”

“Well, I don’t know what that is.”

Kara sighs heavily, “It’s been three years, Lee. There was something you never got off your chest.”

Lena mutters some words. Deep down she knows what Kara wants to hear… what she needs to say. 

“Pardon?”

“So you’re a hallucination?” She changes the subject

Kara bites her lip, looking to the ground, “In a sense. You haven’t slept much this week because of work.”

“You’re just my sleep-deprived brain and guilty conscience manifested into something.”

“Oh, so you feel guilty about something?”

She bites her tongue at her mistake, “If you’re just my brain in the form of Kara, shouldn’t you already know?”

She hears the rumble of thunder and rain begins to pour. Neither of them moves, well, she supposes Kara can’t really move. She watches as Kara’s hair gets wet, sees the raindrops fall on her skin and clothes and she’s hurt at how realistic this all seems. It’s cold and she shoves her hands further into her pockets. 

“I remember when I told you one of my biggest dreams was to lay on the road in the rain with you.” Kara sighs softly, looking up to the sky. “Shame I never got the chance.”

“Oh shut up.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No! No I do mean it! Because I’m so sick of you, Kara. Sick of your statue, sick of the empty casket in the ground, sick of everyone just forgetting you existed!”

Tears begin to stream down her face but she can’t help the wet laugh that leaves her at the realization that she’s probably yelling at empty space. But she doesn’t care, because it feels good.

“You left me. You left me and I never got to say-” She stops herself, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Never got to say?”

“Never got to say I love you!”

Kara smiles, pushing some wet hair out of her own face. She looks down at Lena, blue eyes sparkling. “Man, you waited three whole years to admit that? It had to get to the point your brain made me up?”

“You’re not going to say it back?”

Kara shakes her head.

“Why?”

“Because I’m you, Lena. I can only say what your brain knows for sure…” She pauses, “And you don’t know if Kara loved you back.”

Lena scoffs, crossing her arms. “I mean, I know, but couldn’t you just lie to me for one moment?”

“We should get you back home, it’s late.”

“Ah, such a gentleman, offering to walk me home.”

Kara chuckles and begins walking in the direction of Lena’s place, Lena following behind her. They walk in silence, maybe it’s because Lena has nothing to say, nor is she thinking of anything that Kara could tell her. They arrive at her place and head up in the elevator, Lena unlocking her apartment door.

She steps in first and expects Kara to follow, but the blonde stays in the doorway. She turns back around, tilting her head. “You coming?”

“I’ve gotta go, Lee.”

“Oh.”

She smiles softly, “At least you got it off your chest… get some sleep.”

She nods, walking back to the door to close. “I miss you.”

“I know.”

And with that Lena closes the door, leaning her head against it for a while. She knows it was just a weird manifestation her tired brain made up. That with a couple of good nights' sleep she’ll be fine. But there’s a tug at her heart that longs for it all to be real. For Kara to not be dead, for her to be somewhere in Smallville riding horses and planting crops.

But she’s not.

Because Kara Danvers is dead, and Lena needs to move on.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated, thank you for reading.


End file.
